Tumble [Brandon]

[Kimmy Moore]

_{Don't let me tumble away
Into the throws of the shadowy bay
I clung to the rock
And it's crumbling off}

Landcaster was becoming more and more comfortable for Kimmy. However, she still felt very isolated from the rest of the world. She wanted to be able to socialize like everyone else, but she was scared. What if they judged her, or worse-exiled her? It sounded ridiculous, but to Kimmy it was all very real. What if this school didn’t work out again and she had to go to another school? She hoped not. She was tired of having to relocate her life because she couldn’t handle her disorders.

Since she was little, this disorder had ruled her life. Her mother wouldn’t put her in sports because she was scared the pressure would cause her daughter to have a meltdown. It wasn’t her fault that she was different. She didn’t ask for this, not even remotely. She often wondered how her life would’ve ended up if she hadn’t had panic attacks or anxiety disorder. Surely she would’ve lived the perfect like with perfect husband and beautiful kids. But she wasn’t normal, and she did have a disorder.

Kimmy wasn’t in denial about it, no. She’d come to terms with it long ago, just sometimes there were bumps in the road. She remembered in high school when people who joke her or be mean to her. She lived her life terrified of the world and the people in it. She didn’t trust anyone, not really. She only had one friend back in the day- Brandon. Their parents knew each other, and therefore Brandon and Kimmy knew each other. But that was back when she never really had troubles with her disorder, and she wasn't joked for it. Brandon moved away though, and she hadn't heard from him since. Sometimes she wondered how he was doing, or where he ended up. It didn't matter now though, he wasn't here, but she hoped he was doing okay. 

The weather was beautiful as Kimmy walked down the sidewalk. She had been trying to get out of the dorm and library more and more. She decided to visit where there tended to be food. She was tired of eating the same meals over and over on campus. Surely there was a decent restaurant that was quiet and not stressful, that all she wanted. The dining hall on campus always seemed to be crowded with a lot of things happening at once. Kimmy didn’t do well in there, and thus she always had to go really early or really late. Either way the food was never good.

Kimmy stopped at a corner looking about her. She was entirely lost, but because it wasn’t crowded she wasn’t quite as scared. It wasn’t that she wasn’t nervous, because she was. She glanced about her quickly biting her lip. Had she already passed the store? No. Yes? It was just her luck to get lost. All she had to do was ask someone for directions, but even then that scared her. What if this person was rude or gave her wrong directions. And so she stood there by the street sign debating turning back or to keep going.




Muse: I'm so tired. Sorry it sucks ):
Music: Lights- Heavy Rope acoustic
Outfit: Click
OCC: n/a

[Brandon Hayes]

One of the first things Brandon had learned in attending Landcaster was the food in the Dining Hall was less than satisfactory more often than not. He wouldn’t complain about it, if only for how convenient it was, especially after a good workout. Every once in a while though, he would make an outing off-campus in search of something a little more appetizing.

This was one of those days in particular. Despite this being Brandon’s first year in attendance at the school, he had made it a priority to mentally map out the surrounding areas. Even if he didn’t travel off-campus often, it was helpful to know. Along with the knowledge of the area, he’d discovered a little hole-in-the-wall diner with some of the best burgers he’d ever tasted.

Tossing some cash on his table for one, he exited the building. It wasn’t really that he chose to eat alone, more that he was a victim of circumstance. He hadn’t really connected with any of his classmates up until that point, and didn’t know anyone coming into the school, having moved down from Washington. It didn’t help that most of the social events he heard by word of mouth or otherwise were parties. Brandon’s unfortunate past with alcohol led him to avoid such get-togethers at all cost.

He doubted his evasion would last – whether someone dragged him to a party down the line or he found himself in attendance just searching for a friendly face, it was bound to happen. Brandon hated being alone, but could he really risk a setback like the ones in his past? He wasn’t so sure, but until now, his solitude would have to do.

With that somewhat disheartening thought, Brandon began walking down the sidewalk. Luckily, the weather was at least enjoyable; he guessed it was probably somewhere around seventy-five degrees, not very much humidity, sunny. By all accounts, what he would call near-perfect weather, especially for the walk back to campus that he’d be making.

There weren’t a ton of people walking down the streets, but as he walked, Brandon glanced at each face passing by. Occasionally – this being one of those time – he would have that moment of clarity, realizing everybody that moved by him had their own complex lives, full of their own thoughts, struggles and dreams, family and friends. Some of it could be discovered from their demeanor, like the man who had just brushed against his shoulder, rushing off in the opposite direction, definitely looking like he was on a mission.

Across the road, directly in his path, was another individual who he found himself trying to read. After a quick glance left, then right, there weren’t enough cars to bother waiting for the crosswalk signal, so he took his first step into the street. Walking towards the girl, he couldn’t help but wonder if she was lost. The way she was glancing around herself seemed to suggest so. As he finished crossing the street, it struck him that she looked oddly familiar, though he couldn’t place the face.

Not being able to put a name or memory of any kind to her, Brandon kept walking past. After a few steps though, some nagging thought at the edge of his consciousness, he turned around. “Are you lost?” He figured the worst thing that would happen is the girl would respond with a quick ‘no’. Best case scenario, he could help her out, and then figure out why she looked so familiar.

[Kimmy Moore]

A part of her told her to just turn around and go back, but she couldn’t remember where ‘back’ was. Kimmy was an intelligent person, but under stress she would shut down. She glanced about her again, folding her arms as she tried to focus on her surroundings. Her breaths started to quicken as she tried not to panic. She could do this, she was a grown woman. All she had to do was find a focal point and relax. Why was this a difficult task? She’d been out on her own plenty of times before, so what made this one so different.

Her eyes started to flicker about in a flurry, trying to see anything that was familiar. The bustle of the streets were starting to pick up and the more people there were, the most anxious she got. A part of her was tempted to just turn and find a random ally to calm down in. It sounded strange, but when she was away from people she could think. People were always the cause of her stress, or her own thoughts. But usually the harmful thoughts were because of someone. It was a vicious endless cycle, but no one was hurting her physically or mentally. She needed to get a grip, but the idea of being lost was starting to get to her and starting to build up. Her palms were getting sweaty and her hands gripped her purse a little tighter.

She made small mental notes of the people about her, taking in appearances or fleeting glances. No one seemed to notice her though, something that happened often. She didn’t stick out in a crowd, she wasn’t really remarkable in the least. One man did seem to notice, but only for a moment. He was large, and obviously built with muscle. He face was familiar, but when he seemed to pass her, she was focusing on other things once more. She was soon searching for a bench thinking that perhaps sitting down would calm her nerves. Again, there was nothing, or her mind just couldn’t pick out a bench.

Suddenly a voice pulled her into focus. She turned to face the man who had passed her not a second earlier. Had he sensed her distress and felt obligated to help her? She almost told him no, but she knew that the desperation in her eyes couldn’t be hidden. “Yes,” she said softly biting her lips as her eyes met his. She tried not to stare, but there was something about him the she felt like she should know. Those eyes. Where had she seen those eyes? His basic facial structure seemed very familiar, and it was unsettling how she couldn’t place name with those vibrant eyes.

Kimmy blinked a few times, trying to settle her thoughts and concentrate. Where had she been going? Oh yes, someplace to eat before her panic had set in. “I was looking for someplace to eat,” she stated realizing just how vague the detail was. She didn’t exactly live here, or know the area. “I wasn’t looking for anywhere specific,” she confessed glancing at the ground,” I only knew the general area of where it would be, but I got lost.” It was slightly embarrassing, but it was the truth. Surely he had a good grasp of the area? “Would you mind helping me?” she asked looking up,” but not if you feel obligated. If you point I’m sure I could find my way.” That was a lie. Simply pointing in a general area was sure to get her lost once more, but she didn’t want to burden him.